"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
Praise
be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with
Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds.
Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah
leaves astray, no one
can guide. I bear witness that there
is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and
Messenger.
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
| Prohibition of Listening to Backbiting |
| Abud-Darda (May
Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said,
"He who defends the honour of his (Muslim)
brother, Allah will secure his face against the Fire on the
Day of Resurrection."[At-Tirmidhi]. Commentary:
If someone says something
disgraceful against a Muslim, one must defend his Muslim
brother (or sister, for that matter) and say that what has
been stated about him or her is wrong and that he (or she) is
free from the accusation made against him (or
her).
|
7 Things Your Muslim Husband Wont Tell You
1. Above All, He Desires Your Respect
In Islam, men are taught from a young age
that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their
families.
You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who may not respect him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her.
This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says:
Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband] absence what Allah would have them guard.Chapter 4, Verse 34
Sisters , if you fear there is a problem in your marriage ,I would suggest you start here.
2. He Desires Your Loyalty
This goes hand in hand with respect.There is nothing that will ruin a marriage quicker than the idea that
your spouse is not loyal. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick
by you.
I am not talking about infidelity. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.
What I am talking about is knowing that the person whom you have chosen
to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when
you really need them.
Most men will not admit it, but they do need women.
And we do need your support.
And we do need your support.
And it is very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.
If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Islamic divorce initiated by the wife), you can expect your marriage to fizzle out very quickly.
Your husband needs to know that you are going to be by his side if:
- He loses his job and the money gets tight.
- He tries to do something (like start a business or go back to school) but fails at it.
- His reputation is tarnished or his honor is attacked.
If you’re loyal to your husband, than rest assured he will be loyal to you.
3. He Wants To Have Love More Often
Lets get this right out into the open.
Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.
Men desire love. Men really desire love.
So when you give him the following excuses:
- “I got a headache.”
- “I am not feeling good.”
- “Cant it wait till the weekend? I am really not in the mood.”
Know that your husband is going to go to sleep a little upset with you, even if he does not show it.
And do this often enough, he is going to start resenting you. And that resentment will build up and may lead to him being unnecessarily mean to you or losing some love.
When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.Bukhari and Muslim.
Something to think about.
4. He Thinks About Other Women
Okay, first of all, calm down. Let me explain this.
Most men think about other women.
It does not mean he is going to cheat on you.
It does not mean he is thinking about taking a second wife.
It does not mean he is fantasizing about another woman.
It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. wife).
The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets:
- Respect him.
- Be loyal to him.
- Give him physical love when he wants it.
5. He Wants To Make You Happy
Why do you think men work so hard to make money?
Why do you think men are willing to leave their jobs and risk starting a business?
Why do you think men like buying women gifts?
Because deep down, we really just want to make you happy.
Sometimes we screw it up and forget our anniversary.
But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy.
But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy.
So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible.
If he buys you some jewelry, wear it.
If he buys you a new smartphone, use it.
And dont be so quick to nag him about the things he doesnt do
right. Because then he will start feeling that you do not respect (theres
that word again) the things he does do for you.
6. If You Nudge Him, He Can Be A Better Muslim
Nobodys perfect.
Perhaps your husband isnt a Muslim scholar. Perhaps hes not the best Muslim in the world.
You can nudge him to make him better. But you cant force him.
Do little things to get him to improve his Islam.
- Offer to wake him up for Salaatul Fajr.
- Encourage him to make Salah at the Masjid.
- Tell him how much nicer he would look if he grew his beard.
This takes deliberate words, a soft touch, and careful action. No one likes to be preached to.
But if you do this right, you’ll be getting a double reward:
The reward that comes with living with a righteous husband. And the reward in the next life for encouraging your husband to the truth.
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.Chapter 103, Verse 3
7. He Loves You, Even If He Doesnt Always Show It
I know, this one may be kinda hard to swallow. But its true (usually).
Men are just not that good at showing emotion (unless we are talking sports or politics).
We dont tell our wives “I love you” often enough.
We are not perfect. And constantly comparing us to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) aint helping.
Of course, we are supposed to emulate him (pbuh) as much as we can. And for most of us, we are doing the best we can.
But we just cant treat you the same way he (pbuh) treated his wives. Similarly, it is unfair for men to expect their wives to behave like Aisha (RA) and his other wives (RA) did.
Just because your husband doesnt treat you in the way (you think)
the Prophet (pbuh) treated his wives, doesnt mean your husband doesn’t
love you.
It just means he is human.
It is very important that you understand this.
- If he is doing his best to take care of you.
- If he does not abuse you or sleep around.
- If he sincerely tries to solve your problems and helps you in the best way he can.
Then chances are he loves you. A lot.
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